On April 13th this year it will be 5 yrs since I lost Tony. When I'm alone I still cry. People said it would get easy with time. How could they know? I still get stupid remarks like that. At first I thought it was a bad dream and I would wake up from this nightmare. And as I mentioned before I even made deals with God....please, I know nothing is impossible for you, please bring him back, let me wake up and him be here.
My first-born. He was with me and saw everything of the life and sacrifices we had to go through. As for his brother and sister's he was their hero. His siblings have more than missed him. LD is going through something now that I'm sure would've been easier had his brother and best-friend were here to talk to. LD trusted too easily after his brother passed. After only one month he thought he found someone he could trust but in the end, in May 2009 it will be 5 years and this person as he puts it is in the wrong line of work and should be bound for Hollywood.
LD will be OK, he's been through worse.

March 4, 1981

I welcomed my Tony into this world 28 years ago. He saved my life, he was my gift from God. I lost him too soon to say the least. He is resting and I pray to someday to see his beautiful smile again in paradise. I miss you so much my gorgeous baby.
Vovo said she dreamt of you last night you were covered with sweets. I love you so much.