Somebody once said that through life sometimes you trip and fall, you get up and then sometimes trip and fall again, the important thing is you get up and keep walking. This is true but sometimes you need someone to help you up, someone to hold onto, to help you get a grip and walk with you, support you, help you take these steps and sometimes even show you how to walk again. I didn't have this. The first year it was as if people kept knocking me down. Even telling me it was time enough for me to have gotten "over it", "life goes on". Since that day I still feel the wounds, still feel I need this help and afraid to ask, to show my pain. These are pains along with what "normal" people have to deal with in life. In today's system of things when don't lack in problems along with everyone else.
But I died that day along with my son. I'm not sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I'm not asking anyone to make it easier for me, just be alittle more considerate, conscience of what I've been through or anyone has been through before they act or say something stupid. It just shocks me sometimes to know that these people exist, they hurt you with their words and all you wish sometimes is that they would shut up. You feel dead already and they're just digging your grave.
I know every mother feels this way when I say my son was different, and every child IS! I lost my right arm. I lost the person most like me in this world. Sometimes I can't stand myself so it's weird saying this.
Tony understood me in the truest sense of the word. No one will ever understand me like that. I miss you my son. I pray one day to see your smiling face again one day in paradise. Perfect, no more death, mourning or pain or tears, the former things all passed away, just as Jehovah has promised. Revelation 21:4
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