About me

My name is Rosane. I was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, the MARVELOUS city as it is known but I was raised in the states. I've been here most my life. I'm an immigrant, my parents were/are immigrants, my dad is deceased. My mother is still alive. I am a mother of 4 beautiful children. I had my first born Tony when I was 21, Schivone at 22, David at 24 and Solange at 27. I wanted at least 4 children and I quit there only because financially we couldn't afford more. I always wanted to be a mother and my dream came true.
I was married, technically I still am but I've been separated since 1993. So for the most part I raised them all by myself. When I separated Tony was 12, the most mature 12 year old you could ever meet. At least that's what one Children's Social worker told me when he visited me after complaints that people never saw me at home. I worked from early morning before the sun came up I was getting the kids ready with breakfast, clothes and doing their hair and sending them off to school. Tony would watch his brother and sisters until I got home after the sun went down. He was the greatest at delegating. He oversaw everything. Made sure the house was clean and he could cook too! I know some of you are thinking "that's way too young!" and I agree with you and if there had been another way to do this I would. I could've spent all my time with my kids if I had settled for "aid for dependent children" a monthly check from the gov't and food stamps but that wasn't enough for rent, food and car payment. I worked 7 days a week. No child support. My husband had threatened if I went after him for child support he'd take my boys and disappear. He was an alcoholic, I couldn't take any chances. He HAS been 6 years sober though. All that time I never kept him from the kids. He could see them whenever he wanted or they wanted. They have a good relationship with their father. Money isn't everything but it does put food on the table and a roof over your head so....the kids had only me to depend on, AND Tony was a big helper too. Until he was 18 had odd jobs here and there. He grew up so fast and wanted to help, he told me he took pride in helping. This is what to me made him so unique, so very special. I had an office job from 8 to 5 and then I did home health visits until about 7pm and on the weekends I just did visits from 8am until whenever. Sometimes I got home before the sun set, sometimes after. I missed out on alot with my kids. I'm sure the kids feel the same even though to this day they say they understood why it had to be that way.
There's alot that happened to us between then and now but that's our beginning. Through it all I raised 2 very responsible men and two beautiful daughters who value themselves, four beautiful blessings.
On April 13, 2004 I lost my son Tony, he was 23. Needless to say it was the most horrible thing I've ever been through. My life changed completely. I changed. I feel like a part of me died with him. I lost the most precious gift, there is no way to describe this loss. The kids were hit pretty hard. I mention Tony's name to David and he still looks at me with his big hazel eyes, looks like a deer caught in the headlights. They were best friends, closer than any two brothers could ever be, never fought, "best buds". They worked together, lived together. If I thought David needed a "talk" I would tell Tony and he would sit David down and David respected him, they took care of eachother. Solange was as Tony called her, his "little princess" he was her protector, untouchable. And as for Schivone, one phone call was all it took, Schivone and Tony were always there for eachother as well. They were all very close.
Tony was the type that had an entourage wherever he went, everyone called him their best friend. They all looked up to him and it wasn't only because he was 6'5' and weighed 207 lbs.
He was my gorgeous gentle giant, generous to a fault, a big heart, literally. He lived in a very nice 3 bedroom house with 2 other roommates, his brother and ex girlfriend and her 5 year old son. Tony had broken up and gone back together with her many times but in the early morning hours on tuesday April 13, 2004 he vowed it was for good. This time he would leave her once and for all. He didn't care anymore if she used her kid as an excuse. He had taken care of the boy since the boy was almost a year old. He also didn't care if she threatened to hurt herself as she threatened to do so many times before. He had saved enough money to move out and she could stay at the house all the bills were paid a month in advance, she could find a room mate, she had friends that she said wouldn't mind sharing expenses there, etc. He had all the bases covered he thought, I thought.
Then it happened, I recieved a call tuesday afternoon, it was David my son. I was working, my son David said Tony was hurt and the EMT's were there at the house but they needed my permission to look after him. I thought, that sounds weird, why would they need my permission? He's 23 years old! Something hit me, I sped to his house screaming, praying, please God!! I arrived at their house and there were police cars, yellow tape and David, he was crying, he never cries, I start crying, and he gave me a look and I almost fall to the ground, he catches me and all I could say was "my gorgeous baby boy, my gorgeous baby boy!!" and cry, and cry. I wanted to go to Tony, my son David and the detectives held me back. They said the paramedics were in with him. I didn't want to disturb them, there might be hope that my life wasn't destroyed. Then David told me the paramedics had given up, I screamed. I wanted to go in and try to wake him up but they didn't let me they held me back. My son Tony died of a gunshot to his chest. He was in the bathroom in a pool of blood. They tried to tell me he had done this to himself. I didn't believe it. His exgirlfriend said she found him that way 3 hours after the fact, actually she had my other son David go in the house and he found Tony. A group had gathered in the drive way as they always did to car pool to work. After she heard David yell then she went in. But she was in the same house the whole time, actually she was on the other side of the wall, she heard nothing? The gunshot went in his chest and out his back, the bullet hit the toilet tank and landed in the shower! She didn't hear a thing she said. That's what she told the detectives and that's what they wrote in their report. Several detectives were there and took her statement, she changed her story many times, I read the report but in the end they ruled it a suicide. His Expedition was packed and he was ready to go. The bedroom was totaled with broken lamps and nick nacks. Tony had bruises and cuts on him. But he did this to himself? She had told the detectives that he had gone to take a shower, this was about 11:30am and when she had checked in on him 3 hours later he was already dead? What "girlfriend" leaves her boyfriend to take a 3 hour long shower without checking in on him? I know women, myself included that would have knocked on that door or gone in to see how much longer their man was going to be "in the shower". By the way, he was fully clothed when the detectives found him.
That night as I lay in bed I dialed Tony's cell phone number to hear his voice. She owned that phone now and had erased his voice. It was her voice you heard now if you wanted to leave a voice mail. She also had his wallet, his credit cards, his debit card, his bank account was empty all the money he had saved to move was gone. His check that hadn't been cashed yet from work was also with her. She tried to cash it. David confronted her about it and she finally did give that up. We made Tony's expedition payment with it. The Expedition was a "show car". At least it was in it's early stages of being one. Tony had it custom painted. He wanted a color no one else had. He picked "copper sun burst". To me it was a pretty orange. He had spent alot of time with his truck. He was a big guy, he needed transportation he could feel comfortable in. It even won an award at a show he took it to. It was his baby. It was all that was left that meant something to him. I asked David if we could keep it in the family.
A week after we lost Tony, I was still in a zombie state. I recieve a phone call. David had gone to the beach with his friends and on a long stretch 2 lane road he was run off the road by a truck and trying not to be hit head on lost control of his car and landed in a ditch type canal. The car was covered with water. It was a good thing he had his window down because as the car sank deeper into the water he and his friend used that open window to crawl out of.
It was almost too much. To lose my precious Tony and then a week later come that close to losing my David? David escaped without a scratch. His car was totaled. He had it towed away to the nearest body shop but it was beyond being saved. His insurance didn't cover damages and the loan insurance wasn't covering it either. He still owed on the car whether he had one or not. David had no choice. When payments came due for the expedition he took over and took care of his brothers truck. Tony's last check from work was over a thousand dollars so that helped. The truck was saved but David's car was totaled but one thing, David did meet his fiance at the body shop. She just happened to be the bookkeeper there. They will be married May 24 next year in 2008.